30 March 2009

They Tried to Make Me Go to Rehab...

I said no, no, no..

I've been thinking more thoughts about my baby crush and wanted to share.  In all seriousness, I'm loving having a one -year-old around.  I have to be honest that having an infant was at times painfully difficult for me, moreso that I ever imagined it would be.  I think this is partially due to the fact that we brought Liam home into a bit of an upheaval (having just moved and having no family close and having Brian in school the day after we came home from the hospital, etc.).  The first two weeks were a cloud of sleep deprivation and serious baby blues (which thankfully did not descend further into postpartum depression as we feared) and I spent a significant amount of time very worried over my "bond" with my infant. Much is made of  "bonding" in a lot of parenting circles and some doctors/authors/so-called experts put a lot of pressure and guilt on mothers to have a perfect birth and home and bonding experience, and I knew better than to get too sucked into that kind of thinking, but nevertheless I knew the feelings that I was struggling with and knew how at times Liam seemed to respond to those feelings. I had anger and resentment and literal chest-crushing anxiety for a while; in those first two weeks I often had trouble going to sleep when I got the chance because my anxiety became so severe that I would drift off to sleep and stop breathing and then wake up to breathe again. I wish I was kidding.  Luckily that passed after the first two weeks at home. Do I need to mention that I don't do well with sleep deprivation?   The worry over bonding with Liam did not pass, however, until I tucked him into our bed and slept with him close to me all during the night and sensed an immediate change in our relationship.

Now Liam is no longer a tiny infant, but a walking, talking, tantruming motorboat. Maybe it comes from getting used to this mothering thing, or maybe it comes from his ever-emerging personality, or maybe a combination of so many different things. Probably I'm the last mom on the planet to figure this out.  The older Liam gets, the more I fall in love with him. He's becoming affectionate - he kisses and hugs and I think even says something resembling I love you (when prompted, of course). He's got a ridiculous sense of humor.  He understands so much, and perhaps it helps that I understand so much more of him now than ever before. The wild tantrums in which he bangs his head on the floor don't rattle me at all like the tiny, undecipherable baby cries did.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be able to eat at a restaurant in peace like I could when he slept in his baby sling for the whole meal, but getting to know this little person makes up for all of the toddler antics.  Getting to watch his emerging independence, his eagerness for learning, his longing to be helpful, his little mischievous grins - getting to do all of this is giving me a serious baby crush.

Well, that and he sleeps (mostly) all night in his own bed again. A good night's sleep always helps!

Love Affair

I guess it's time I confessed.

I'm in love. My heart has been stolen and I'm head over heels. All the clich├ęs apply.

His name is Liam and he is a dashing little gent who has swept me completely off my feet.

Ok, so there's a bit of an age difference, I'll admit. But never you mind, I'm convinced this 15 -month-old is the one for me. He only has to take my face in his hands and kiss me and I swoon.

Wouldn't you?

Just this morning at around 6:30 he nuzzled next to me as I slumbered, curved his little back against my belly, and snuggled happily until 9:00 a.m.  When he finally drifted awake, he sat up next to me all chicken hair and blinking eyes and matter-of-factly declared,"Apple pie."    Which I believe was not as much a request for breakfast as a statement of his philosophy for the day. The sun is shining, we've had a good night's sleep, therefore, apple pie. 

Who wouldn't fall in love with a fellow who thinks like that?

29 March 2009

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive....

I'm not an addict...maybe that's a lie....*

I decided recently to go through all of the pages that I have bookmarked and add them to my blog. I thought that it would make it easier to keep up with blogs and sites I like to look at but sometimes forget about, not to mention that my bookmarks are getting quite numerous. I thought you all might be interested in some of them, too. I thought that my reading habits were not getting out of hand.

I was wrong.

The links that I have added are only a portion of the pages that I have bookmarked. Of course, most of the time I see something that I want to look at later and I bookmark it and forget about it. But a lot of these pages I visit on a regular basis.

Is there such a thing as blogger rehab?

*Bonus points if you can name the song and band referenced above. Bonus points for what, you say? Um..I'll get back to you on that one.

27 March 2009


Can I just ask what is up with the tattoo on the model's neck in the picture below? Ouch!

I'm just sayin'...

26 March 2009

Should I do it?



In this color: 
(image via The Sartorialist)

15 March 2009


Yep, testing out some new templates. I'm hankering for a custom made one...but trying these out until then. Just hold on with me until I get things settled!!